Meow like the whole universe is yours

 Wow, it's been a while. I've been super busy, but I can write a quick update.

I'm alive, still screaming and the door remains closed. Should scream louder.

I didn't keep track of the toys, some nights I got lazy, Ash started messing with the toys and of course The Assholes move them too. Ugh, I feel like I'm an island, nobody understands me.

Here is a collection of pics:

 

My life isn't all toys and protests. There were a couple of showers, I went into the snow.

 Got furminated. I got so pissed off! That hair is mine and I hate that brush. Ugh.

 Ash and Oswin keep fighting for the hammock. I still don't care.

I've napped, in between screams.

I got a new sweater. It kinda goes with my fur.

 I helped weed the garden.

So yeah, plenty of things to do instead of writing my blog, but at the same time, I like journaling. Maybe someone out there will hear my meows and sympathasize with me.
 

Always meow when you can. It is cheap medicine

 Bathroom door was closed. I had an intense night, but my rage prevented me from going all the way to the bathroom. I am a hot head! Instead, my protest toys stayed by the stairs:

 That's an egg, a guava juice and a toast:

 I thought about adding a flamingo, but after some thought, I changed my mind and I abandoned it close to the monster.

After that I took a day off, because it was a lot of effort. The Assholes also picked up all the toys and pissed me off. They don't deserve me.

In other news, I decided to start ripping my hair out. I'm not going to say why, that's personal, but it is driving The Assholes insane. I don't understand them, they were put in this world to serve me, and I'm giving them extra opportunities to do so. They should be thrilled.

But nooo, first they took me to the vet. She said I was fabulous or something like that, I was too high and I didn't pay attention, but what else can she possibly say?

After that they started talking about allergies and they gave me this nasty tasting pill for days. Dunno if I'll ever forgive them, it'll take a lot of Churus. I continued ripping hair out just to spite them.

Next they put a sweater on me. They said if I cannot access the hair, I won't rip it out. But it didn't last long: I was in a horrible mood, I just ripped my paws hair out and I got in the shower with the sweater. Any other bright ideas, Assholes?

And the next one: a stupid metal comb. I hate it. I tolerate being brushed, but this thing is horrible. I'm too delicate for it! Each time they see me ripping out hair, the comb comes out. Ugh, it's terrible. They were already using it on Ash, but the little psychopath actually enjoys it and purrs and purrs. That cat is a disgrace.

Naturally my next step was to start doing all the ripping out away from them, where they cannot see me. Not sure what they expected TBH. They are pissed. I would be sad if I cared. They keep telling me I'd be an ugly sphinx cat, whatever that means. As if I could ever be ugly!

So things are tense around the house. Not sure if I'll be in the mood to move toys any time soon. But I'll sure continue leaving hair everywhere!
 

Each day provides its own meows

 The bathroom door was closed. All toys were put away. House was spotless. Was is the operative word.

I had a pretty busy night! First I left a donut and a chameleon by the bathroom door. The moment they opened the bathroom, I took the chameleon in:

 But after placing those, I still felt like screaming, so I took a flamingo to the landing:

 Then I loafed while contemplating my handy work. I was impressed with myself. Bet they'll leave the bathroom door open now!

But then... the horror! They closed the bathroom door during the day! This is unacceptable! I already have to spend all night away and now the day too? I immediately grabbed a protest avocado toast.

 And I screamed and I screamed and I screamed. But still the door remained closed. Such bullshit.

BTW Ash tried to be helpful and moved an avocado around the kitchen, but the kitchen doesn't have a door. And he doesn't scream like me. Try again, Ash!

 Finally they opened the door and I screamed and showered. I forgave them because I figured they'd leave the door open at night to compensate. But Assholes gonna asshole, and that night the door was closed. Seriously? They also put all the toys away. How many times do I have to tell them to leave my toys alone? Sigh.

 That night I worked extra hard with the screaming, and got the chameleon and the smaller avocado toast back up. That's their spot, leave my toys alone, dammit. Then some well deserved rest:

 Is my mane glorious or what?

Guess what happened that day. While I was sleeping, they put the toys away. Again. Even tho I said not to. Sigh, dunno how to communicate with these Assholes, maybe I need to learn Assholese?

The indignity of this all fueled a very screamy night. First I brought a chameleon to the bathroom door:

 I thought about moving the monster too, but something distracted me and I didn't finish:

 Finally, I wanted to do something different. Something the Assholes will notice. Sometimes you need more than screaming and toys by the bathroom door. So I moved the kitchen rug and left a calling card:

 They cannot ignore that!

But they didn't tell me anything, cowards. They just left the toast there. So the next night I relocated it. Screaming bloody murder, of course:

 And started moving the monster again, but got distracted again. So much to do and I'm only one!

 And a guava juice for good luck:

 Hard work, but someone has to do it. No, not you, Ash.

I expect the bathroom door to be open tonight. In the mean time, here are some videos of me at work:

 

Good things happen to those who meow

 It's been a while, time for updates. The door remained closed, of course. The Monster has been running around. It's always screaming, or more like screeching. My screams instead sound like a melody. Anyway, the toys have been put away every morning to avoid The Monster's gluttony.

So it was night time, I wanted to scream in the bathroom, the door was closed and there were no toys. Fine, I'll place the toys somewhere The Monster cannot reach them. While screaming bloody murder, of course.

 Breakfast is served, toast, avocado and fur. Did I mention how much I love ripping out for and leaving it as a calling card?

The door remained closed all night. That morning, after The Assholes opened the bathroom door, I was screaming while thinking... how can I make them keep that door open overnight?

The screaming, or maybe the shower, inspired me. Is this what people call Shower Thoughts? Anyway, my idea was simple: I'm going to displace Oswin from her favourite spots so she starts complaining too. Nobody wants 2 grumpy kittens, right? In order to keep the balance, they'll have to make sure one of us stops being grumpy, The Assholes mine me better and so they'll want to make me less grumpy by opening the bathroom door overnight. Brilliant.

First, I laid on Oswin's dinner tree. Every dinner she just lays there and observes every bite of food that goes into The Assholes' mouths. That's where she screams, weird cat.

 Dunno why Ash was there, but you can see Oswin didn't like this at all. She gets The Zoomies when she doesn't get her way. Take that, Assholes!

But what I hadn't anticipated is Ash figuring out my plan and "helping" by laying in Oswin's hammock.

 Oh boy, the hammock is off limits. Oswin was so pissed! There were lots of fights that day. BTW, look at Oswin's "This is bullshit" face:

 Everyone says I'm scary, but look at that face.

Anyway, it didn't work, the bathroom door remained closed. Sigh.

That night I didn't move toys, I needed to strategize next steps. That morning the weather was really nice so The Assholes took us out. We love the outside! But it was windy and Ash got scared. That cat is a big baby.

 You would think the outside break and Ash/hammock situation would signify a truce between Oswin and I. At least she thought that, until I gave her stink eye for standing to close to my chair:

So we're back to normal, hammock reclaimed (for now)

 And so that night I moved the toast back to the stairs, since it had disappeared:

The stairs look so boring without toys...

Then the next night I really wanted in the bathroom so I spent all night screaming while carrying toys. At the end, the bathroom door looked like this:

 That'll show them! But then in the middle of the afternoon I went up for a screaming session and saw no more toys. How dare they. This is my "This is bullshit" face:

 Also Ash attacked again, we were all in a bad mood. Me because of the toys, Oswin because of the hammock, The Assholes because I screamed all night... I guess Ash was having the time of his life tho.

 That night I screamed some more and decorated the door with a protest egg.

 And the stairs with a protest flamingo:

And we get to last night. The egg needed something, so I rooted through the toy basket, discarded that string thingy, why do they throw garbage in my basket?

 And decided the bathroom door needed a protest guava juice:

 Bet the door will be open tonight!