To meow or not to meow, that's the question

 Hi, this is Ash. Umm... Cali is busy, so I am filling in for her.

She said not to read the past posts, but the joke is on her, I don't know how to read, I'm a cat.

My parents say I'm a closeted orange and that not one thought ever crossed my eyes, but I don't know what that means. I am a good boy, I love cuddles, being picked up and kissed, terrorizing Oswin, moving toys around and staying out of Cali's way.

My favourite toy in the world is the bacon. I can carry it everywhere!

I play with other toys too when I cannot find the bacon, but nothing compares to it.

My favourite napping spots are cuddling mommy and daddy, wherever Oswin is and the giant cat bed. I love sleeping belly up and under the covers, and if I get bully rubs, that's a great bonus!

I also found out that cats on the counter get picked up and kissed, so I jump on it to receive some cuddles. I'm a genius.

I used to be a barn cat, so I have a BIG appreciation for soft blankets, food I don't have to hunt and sisters that don't fight me.

Well, I hope Cali is available tomorrow, because I don't know what else to write.